


Karaoke

by YeahScience



Series: Penguins Are Playful Creatures [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack, Cute, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Funny, M/M, One Shot Collection, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:06:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7064440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeahScience/pseuds/YeahScience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sidney Crosby falls prey to a relentlessly catchy and equally obnoxious pop song. Little does he know, he's being projected on the arena's massive four-sided screen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karaoke

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this kinda late at night in one go, so it is unbeta'd and probably poxed with canon errors. Hit me up with a PM and I'll fix them. I'm fairly sure that Oshie wasn't on the Capitals until 2015, though, so I think I'm good. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'm posting this to a new series with random Penguins one-shots.

A third of the way through the second period, and still no score. Icing call after icing call. A single penalty kill for hooking. Single digit shots on goal. 

In other words, this game was boring as hell and the players knew it. 

Tarasenko and Oshie sat on the home bench, leaning against the boards like Charlie Brown and Linus on their brick wall. Over in his crease, Flower stifled a yawn behind his blocker. On the visitors’ bench, Crosby played with the taping of his blade. 

Even the crowd in the arena was bored. The veritable and constant bellow of fans had reduced to a mere hiss. Especially now, since the game was in a TV timeout. The Ice Girls was making their rounds to pick up the snow, but not even the buxom bombshells could electrify the inert arena. 

Up in his secluded booth, the organist/DJ sensed the atmosphere and attempted to engage the crowd. On his computer, he pulled up Billboard’s current “Top 100” chart and cross-referenced it with his own databank of music. Currently sitting at #1, as it had been for the past couple weeks, was that obscenely catchy bubble-gum pop song “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor. And while that song doesn’t really belong in a pro hockey environment, the DJ thought, “Maybe the crowd will appreciate the irony?”

Nevertheless, he double clicked and the chorus bubbled through the arena speakers. 

“Because you know I’m all about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble  
“All about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble…”

Down on the bench, Crosby cocked his head. “Weird song to be playing, Organ Dude,” he thought to himself. But Hockey Gods be damned if that stupid song wasn’t catchy as hell. Despite himself, Sid began to tap his skates to the beat, then nod his head, and eventually was mouthing the words. 

On the other end of the ice, Fleury watched the events unfold, completely mesmerized. Yup, that was his captain. 

Lucky for the Blues’ cameraman, too. He had been watching the scene unfold for the past thirty seconds, snickering to himself. This was just too funny. He tapped his own feet as he zoomed in on the captain. And he switched his local feed to the Jumbo-tron one right when Cros belted,

“I’M BRINGING BOOTY BAAAACK!” Complete with head wave. The crowd roared to life. Sidney looked to the ice. What he didn’t know was that it was with laughter. Had play resumed when he was, ahem, occupied? No, nobody was out there. So what was so exciting?

“Uh, Sid,” Murray, who was dressed but benched, nudged his captain’s shoulder. “Look up on the screen.”

Sid saw his own horrified face staring at the St. Louid crowd, who were eating this up. The Kid flushed a bright red as he wondered just how long the camera, and all the occupants of the Scottrade Center, had been watching this unfortunate discourse. 

Of all the people in the arena, Geno was probably the most absorbed. He was transfixed upon the giant screen, mouth hanging open in absolute delight. This was absolute gold, something that Malkin could chirp his best friend about for the rest of their careers (and lives). He whipped his head around to exchange glances with the captain. 

Geno smirked and Sid rolled his eyes. But then both smiled, and, with the cameras still locked onto his unforgivably photogenic face, Crosby stood up and took a bow. On the other side of the glass, the Blues gave him a standing ovation, and the fans, Blues and Pens together, erupted into thunderous applause. 

Needless to say, that was the end of Sidney Crosby’s brief, yet adorable and beloved, singing career. 

Maybe he’d take up dance next.


End file.
